July 23, 2010

pretty much given up on this.
hit this instead - itoldyoufromthestart.tumblr.com

May 26, 2010

i need to know you don't want me to change.

i need to know you think i'm perfect.

i think you're perfect.

May 14, 2010

alright so, i've made a tumblr.
you might think of it as betraying the old and loyal blogspot, but im thinking of it as a different medium as to which i can portray my life :)

the url - itoldyoufromthestart.tumblr.com

woooooooooooooooooo!!! its the weekend!!
mother dearest is ordering my new bed and mattress today!
im so excited.
queen bed, here i come!!

May 13, 2010

my choice of sleeping rather than being educated today was a poor one, i think.

i'm just so sick of school.
the only subject i do anything in is year twelve hospitality.
then some days i'm energised enough to care about chemistry and studio arts.
most of my maths classes i never even pick up a pen or open my book.
there's no point to youth ministry.
english language requires thinking and analysis, neither of which i can hardly be bothered with at this point in time.

question time -
can someone please enlighten me as to where i can find good layouts?
im so sick of mine!!!
thanking you :)

May 11, 2010

in english language, probably should be doing some work but oh well :)

i'm looking at speech impediments and how they affect people's lives.
the guy im youtube-ing is jason gray, a recording artist with a stutter.
he says when that he sings 'i don't stutter when i sing, which to me has become a very compelling metaphor for how God works in our lives, when we are willing to give him our broken little mess of a life, he's able to make music out of it, able to make something beautiful out if it'.

i don't personally believe in God, but i like how jason is able to overcome his stutter when he sings, because he does believe in God.

anyways, my soccer team has a night game tonight!
night games are always so much fun.
but it will be a bit cold :(
hopefully we play fairly well and have a chance of winning, albury united is 3rd on the ladder!!!
definitely welcome to come down and watch :)

May 10, 2010

just remembered!!!!

tomorrow we're starting photography in studio arts, and we're getting assigned cameras!
all of my problems would disappear if i had money.
i'm happy, but i want things.
i don't need money to buy me happiness, i need money to buy me things!!!

i need a job so badly.
okay my bad, i just need money so badly.
lately i've noticed a fact in my life - i've become fairly close with a certain friend of mine, and i'm loving it.
she's a funny girl, and she loves life like no other person i know.
i know i can tell her anything and everything and she understands.
we're on the same page and i love that i've found someone like her to be such good friends with.
i have so much fun with her, but we can still have the best serious talks.
she may make a fool of herself sometimes but she is a smart girl.
i love our cuddle seshes and sleep overs and code names and phone calls.
this fat lesbian makes me pretty damn happy :)

this girl's name is chloe alyse palmer and i love her so so much :)

May 9, 2010


May 6, 2010

i don't want a big house, i don't want a fancy fast car.
i don't want a billion bucks, or the hottest armcandy.
i want a comfortable cosy place to live, with a way to get from A to B.
i want enough money to pay for rent and food, i want someone who loves me for me.

i don't want all the friends in the world for a day, i want the ones i have now - forever.

i don't want to travel the world to see all the great wonders of the world, i want to explore the streets where i live and breathe.

i don't want to be the smartest with the highest grades, i want to know who i am and what i want and be happy with that.

i know what i want, and im happy with that.
first kisses,
how can you explain.
the touch of his lips, for the first time on hers.
her head goes into a whirlwind of emotion.
different to any other kind she's ever felt before.
better emotion.

<3 + <3

i want my best friend back.
good things come in threes.

1. on tuesday night soccer training, i was asked to play for the senior ladies team.
im so nervous but oh so so excited!
apparently i'm playing up forward or in midfield somewhere, so that means goal-scoring potential!!!

2. i've decided on what my major piece will consist of.
four photos, the theme 'seperation'.
medium photography, of course.
i'm so excited and inspired at the moment, i just want to grab a camera and go!!

3. tomorrow night i'm having people over, gonna be heaps mad fun!!!
fire, marshmellows, the girls, the shed and drinks.
soooooo good!!

this week has turned out well so far :)

April 28, 2010

just catching up on all the water i missed out on today because i forgot my drink bottle :)
happy hump day!!

yes, that means its wednesday.
not hump of the pelvic thrusting kind.

i just want to drink so much water i vomit.
not to sound bulimic either, i just feel sick.

April 9, 2010

i love you a million swedish fish.
i love you a million red m&m's.

carli johnstoneeeeee <3

April 7, 2010

everything to be perfect.
money to spend.
to not be lonely.
everyone to get along.
an endless supply of phone credit.
better op shops in albury wodonga.
good marks.
an automatic car to drive on my l's.
a flat stomach.
a good camera.
someone to hold me.
to never grow old.

most of all, i want to stop wanting so many things.

April 5, 2010

once again the doorbell rang late at night.
once again she wondered.
matchmaker mcglynn strikes again.

i don't know why, but i have a very deep insight on relationships.
even though i'm the worst possible help when it comes to my own.

a former and now friend again has their eyes set on a person i play soccer with.
we'll call my former and now friend again 'fanfa' and the soccer player 'sp'.
logical isnt it haha.

fanfa is having trouble because he is unsure about his feelings for sp.
i asked fanfa what he wants, this is how it went -

Alex: question, what do you want?
fanfa: to be happy
Alex: nawwww! okay well
fanfa: sorry rephrase to not be bored
Alex: no take backs.
you cant want a girlfriend just cause youre bored!
fanfa: why not?
Alex: its not genuine, in a sense
fanfa: when can i want a gf?
Alex: when you want to be with her
cause you dont want to be without her :)

(i know it sounds cheesy, but i still thinks it's true)

fanfa: wow deep as
Alex: hahaa
that cool though?
fanfa: i think so
you've gotta figure it out though
just spend more time with her :)
and let her kiss you first haha
fanfa: well ill be waiting a while for that i think
why should i let her?
and not just dive in?
Alex: well i think that she's had the chance to kiss a boy
and she could be waiting for the right person and she might not be ready
fanfa: pfft come on. that's what i dont understand how can there be a right person, isnt it just a kiss?
Alex: ima let you in on a little secret,
to them their first kiss is one of the biggest things in their life
kinda, its like a milestone
and you always wish for it to be perfect and amazing
and you wait until you find a guy that you think can make it that
fanfa: wow that sounds so fake to me, i must be a guy
Alex: how does it sound fake!!!
its just honest haha
its not the same for every girl
but i reckon sp might be one of those :s
you'll know when she wants to kiss you though,
so when you get the feeling, go slow haha
just to make sure :)
sorry if this is too deep or anything.

that's just a fraction of the conversation.
but 'fanfa' was such a big part of my life and i'm so so so happy to have him back!

wish fanfa and sp lucky :)

April 3, 2010

imogen heap, i love you.

where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet
sinking feeling

spin me round again
and rub my eyes,
this can't be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first

oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines (oh, you won't catch me around here)
blood and tears (hearts)
they were here first


ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no I don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a bit

(hide and seek)
ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
(hide and seek)
speak no feeling no i don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a (you don't care a) bit
the dream.
if you build me a treehouse i will love you forever.
i might even let you come over for sleepovers :)

go on, you know you want to!
would anyone (eg emily havik) like to have a picnic with me over the next week of holidays?
i feel like baking up a storm and enjoying the sun before it goes into hibernation over winter :)

April 2, 2010

i have just remembered bree has my sd card for my camera!
i'm about to have a heart attack!
okay not really, but still.
and i'm also out of batteries, so no photos of my new hair :(
and the doorbell rang late at night.
who could it be?
she wondered.

April 1, 2010

national geographic.

a few of my favourites.
how aboslutely, blatantly rude.

this is what i've just found on my formspring, which i've decided to delete.
although i have a fairly good idea of who this is.

"You need to loose weight, On facebook it always says u are Going for a walk, yet yu r still fat. What the Fuck?"

well you wanna know something anonymous?
i've actually lost 10 kilos.
did you know that one?
wanna know why?
cause i go for walks which turn into runs every single day.
real fat of me, isn't it?
i've no doubt in my mind you are a lonely person with no friends that feels inadequate in themselves.
this does not bother me one bit, because you've tried to put me down to no avail.
i don't care what you think of me or my body, because if you're just going to try and put me down and feel less of myself, you aren't worth my time.

just a thought for the day :)
the fog in the morning, the chill of the air.
the warmth of your bed and the snuggle on the couch.
the frost on the window, the steam of the shower.
the pale-rose tinge of cheeks and the blue lips.
the long dark nights, the shiver of dawn.
the visible breath and the dry throat.

this is what i love about winter.

i think that winter is the most beautiful season of all.
it may be seen as gloomy and dark, but the beauty is definitely still there.

oh, and when you get the chance, like NOW, check out my best friend's blog - welcometooatlanta.blogspot.com
its rad, and so is she.

March 31, 2010

what hurts the most was being so close, having so much to say and watching you walk away, and never knowing what could've been.

i want to grow old with you.

March 30, 2010

i wish i jumped.

in a hannah montana movie sense.

i had the chance, now it's gone.
i wish i didn't still have those feelings for you.
you're leaving in 2 months.

please don't forget me.

March 28, 2010

cause i dont know who i am, who i am without you. all i know is that i should. but i dont know if i could stand another hand upon you. all i know is that i should. cause she will love you more than i could, she who dares to stand where i stood.

i was obsessed with missy higgins mid-2005, i'm just re-discovering my lost love for her <3

i'm living off song lyrics at the moment, i don't know why.
especially chill music.
bella - angus and julia stone
just a boy - angus and julia stone
mango tree - angus and julia stone
and the boys - angus and julia stone
as you can see i'm loving this brother sister combo :)

March 27, 2010

March 26, 2010

i remember

someone old once said to me that lies will lock you up with truth, the only key.
but i was comfortable and warm inside my shell and couldn't see this place would soon become my hell. so is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save my face? well i guess the answer is don't do it in the first place! i know im not deserving of your trust from you right now, oh but if by chance you change your mind, i will not let you down.

i'm sick of lies.
they ruin lives and more importantly, friendships.

you're still the one i run to,

'the one that i belong to, you're still the one i want - for life.
you're still the one that i love, the only one i dream of, you're still the one i kiss goodnight'
shania twain, you kill me every single time!!
gets me thinking about a certain s.t

March 23, 2010

retreat time

tomorrow morning my fellows year 11's and myself head off to three destinations - king river, howman's gap and where im going, camp curumbene (20kms south of shepparton).
wednesday til friday.
i got sooooo lucky!!
i have some of my closest mates on my camp, so im pretty stoked about that :)
will update when im home :)
hope you all have a great week, i know i will!!!!

March 22, 2010

oh no

i have to be at school before, yes BEFORE 7am tomorrow.
to serve the undeserving year 12's breakfast.

March 18, 2010

March 17, 2010


my absolute favourite part of the day is just after i get off the bus.
it's my thinking time, walking that 150 metres.
it's peaceful and serene.
everything is perfect for a moment.
my life is bliss and simple as i examine every crack in the pavement.
that is my favourite part of the day.
am now off to the doctor with mumma.
shall be interesting.
will post my blank thoughts of the day when i'm back.

March 16, 2010

she spied a shooting star

She could make a wish for anything, anyone.
She wished for him, his friendship. His hugs and his laughter, his smile and his stare, his smell and his voice. All she wanted was for it to be back in her life. Nothing more.

Just him.

March 15, 2010


with everything in my life.
i've no complaints, no reasons to hold back, no excuses to not live my life to its potential.

dont need no jenny

my goal of losing weight and becoming fitter is in motion.
nine kilos and loving it.
ran hunchback hill yesterday, in 43 minutes with sinead and bree.
then walked the whole way across town home, ran some of that too haha.
i'm actually obsessed with exercising lately, i dreamt about running a few nights ago.
i know, it's weird.
but i look forward to walking and running every day, i love it so so much.

watch out for me at relayforlife :)

these walls

over the weekend, my mother and i FINALLY painted my bedroom.
one wall, and the adjacent window wall.
the colour is 'coolaide' from taubmans.
i love it so so much.
also, my room has undergone a major clean out, moving towards my want of a minimalistic, calming bedroom.
the next thing to do is to paint the brown exposed wood white,
to achieve a cleaner, brighter finish.

my apologies

for no posts in over a month!!
my life has just been so fast-paced since school started back,
i've hardly had time to think about something worthwhile to post.
so, i apologise.
i'm sorry

February 3, 2010

such a bitch

another rant, while im in a shit mood.

you dont know me at all, you idiot.
you think you can go along living your life like you do,
like it has no affect on me whatsoever.
well guess what. you're wrong, again.
i hate seeing you get hurt, i hate seeing you abuse
your body like you do. i hate how you're leaving,
and how there'll be even smaller chances of us staying friends.

wake up to yourself.

February 1, 2010

school's back!

oh yay :D
not even a hint of sarcasm intended there, truth.

i seriously loved the first day back at school today!
it was sooo much fun, and seeing everyone was just so good.
i was in such a great mood allllll day, i didnt even realise how starving i was until sixth period!!

father is cutting sick and being a mad dog by counting down so i get off the computer.
shall update tomorrow before soccer :)
or after, ill see what happens :D

night all.

January 30, 2010

darling i love you,

but give me park avenue.

green acres (L)
iva gabor, marry me?

January 29, 2010


about my previous post.
just getting some frustrations out :)

im in a better mood now, georgia came over for
a bit and watched me make choc chunk cookies ^_^

you may have noticed, i have been saying 'pretty much in love with .. *insert favourite* .. at the moment'
im apologizing for this phrase.
but i like it haha.

im thinking a daily pmilw..atm haha.
love how i just abbreviated that :)

so here's the first -
im pretty much in love with fromspring at the moment.
its fun as haha.
i think its funny to see just how many people want to know
about you, while them not wanting you to know they do haha.
if you understand that :S

oh, and here is my formspring, just in case you want it ;)
you can ask me anything.
so go!!!!

i've got to clean the kitchen, so this is the end of this post.


i always knew you were going to fuck me over.
just wasn't sure when.
i knew it, i was sure of it.
so was everyone else, but i didnt listen.
but i still wanted you around, wanting you
to be everything to me.
and you were.
i wanted to be everything to you.
you're a liar, you said you'd never lie to me.
you promised me that.
it's made me hard to believe anything you say anymore.
i've doubted your intentions, how authentic you are.
but mainly, i've doubted you.
i might not as much, if i ever saw you.
you say your parents are 'strict', yet you just
pack up and go to sydney and brisbane and who else knows where
with people you meet on the street.
i mean seriously.
if you can do that and get drunk just about every night,
then why in the world can't you spend an hour with me.
i really wouldn't be bothered where we were, or what we did, if anything.
as long as it was me and you, just me and you.
now i dont know how to finish this.
there's just so much i need to say to you.
mainly, fuck you.

my birthdayyyyyy

oh my god.
so this is my day so far -
woke up at 7:20am, met Georgia 'Ge-Bang Milz' Miller at the Plant Farm
on Beechworth Road and walked to get the morning paper for mother-dearest.
Then i got home and decided to make some oh so delish cinnamon pancakes for breakfast.
while i was cooking this breakfast of mine, i saw that the february '10 edition of
delicious magazine had arrived (we have a subscription).
so i flicked through it, and on page 125, to my excitement (!!!!!)
none other than Jamie Oliver is appearing at Hisense Arena in Melbourne for two nights only.
And here is where my birthday and the oh my god comes in.
those two nights are the 11th and 12th of March.
If you didn't already know, my 16th birthday is on the 11th.
so hey, im freaking excited :D
cause mumma full said we could go.

so now im on the ticketek site.
its a shame i have no idea how to find the damn things!!!!

kind of in love with

this meal -
baby spinach leaves, chopped red onion,
slivered almonds and shaved parmesan,
w/ a lemony vinegary acidic pepper dressing :)
come over and ill make it for you one day.


im kind of on a status commenting spree at the moment :S

im going to get mother to book me in for the hairdressers tomorrow,
am i going blonde?
and i getting my hair cut off again?
i have no idea!!!!

January 27, 2010

chloe palmer

love this girl.
im actually on the phone to her right now :)
she asked me to write a blog about her, so this is it.
this girl has recently been to queensland for two weeks, and i missed her heeeaps :(
but now she's back, and its pretty mad with her home :D
we have soccer tonight, in like an hour and a bit, and we're sooooo going partners haha.
we have a personal trainer for another five weeks, on a thursday night.
so yeahhhhh :D
i love chloe palmer <3

pretty much hate you

elias or whatever your name is from chemist warehouse.
stop trying to sell swisse multi-vitamins.
you fail at life, so please go die.

okay, now a positive note :)

im actually looking quite forward to school starting.
ive missed seeing people that i like.
like those people you arent close with,
but the ones you say hi to, and can actually stop and
have a good conversation with.
them ones, the non-bitchy friends.
thats what i miss about school :)

January 26, 2010

thinking of a change

of hair colour?

i want to go blonde.
not white blonde, a golden caramel kind :)
but im really not sure, im scared it will look absolutely horrid!!!

January 25, 2010

five days together, full of fun :)


carlos davidson, alexmcg, ge-bang milz <3

in a mood

a deep and meaningful kind of mood.

im having thoughts tonight.
i feel like snuggling up in my cosy little single bed, with my lamp on
and writing until the wee hours of the morn.
but we all know that wont be happening.
australia day is tomorrow :)
undecided about wether or not im consuming alcohol...
ill get back to you on that one.
promise ;)

January 24, 2010

not as good as i think

i'm not.
as good as i think i am.
i dont think.
im a hypocrite and im a jealous person.
i want to be so many things and cliches, that i just wont fit into.
it annoys me.
but then im content.
because i know, at the end of the day,
im going to go back to being my good old self again.
and im pretty happy with that fact.

one thing i can say is, im no more offended by people that smoke.
or people that do drugs.
i still think that drugs should not be fooled around with,
no matter how much experience you've had with them.
but im not going to think any less of you, or respect you any less
because you use them.

im feeling an 'so, yeah' to finish this.

also, i think my favourite word in the english language is the word "vendetta"

last night's make-up.

i was pleasantly surprised at my eye make-up attempts last night :)
nothing big haha, just nice.
well.. i thought.

aussie aussie aussie

oi oi oi.

australia day is tomorrow :)
im heading to a friend's house over the border.
having a little gatho with all our friends :D
they're the best kind of people.
im so excited!!
i have, green and yellow thongs from cotton on, an umbrella hat, australian flag boxers, i <3 australia undies, a tie up australian flag and im going to albury soon with mumma and gravy to get a singlet :)
i shall upload a photo or two as soon as i can :)

January 23, 2010

im updating my blog, giving it a very needed face-lift.

definitely over being broke. also over wanting clothes that i can neither buy nor fit into. im soooo determined to get fit.

i aspire to upload more photos.

January 2, 2010

im down like the economy

this year has already been fucking (excuse the language) amazing.
and theres only been three days :)
shopping, new years, chill day at brees + sleepover, dederang races + party.